Thursday, February 17, 2011


I am often asked by people outside of the surrogacy community how I am able to carry a baby for someone else.  I am also frequently asked how IPs can handle having a woman carry their baby and be comfortable with the situation.  I find that the easiest way to explain this unique relationship is that it is focused on balance.

I have yet to discover a situation where an extreme is a good thing and surrogacy is no exception.  Balance is a critical component to a successful journey.  It is not an easy task to under go fertility treatments and carry a baby for someone else, but it is equally daunting to have someone else carrying your unborn child(ren).  It is in this fine balance of emotions and logistics that surrogacy is successful and mutually beneficial.

Most, if not all, women who apply to be surrogates LOVE being pregnant.  There are many reasons women pursue being a surrogate, but this is always one of the main forces.  There is a "type" of woman that applies.  She is healthy and enjoys pregnancy and is not ready to be done with it even if her family is complete.  I have had more then one applicant tell me that she feels a little selfish because she is enjoying the pregnancy so much, that she feels too lucky.  Outside of the surrogacy community, it is hard to find someone who understands this pregnancy elation.  Many people, men and women, have told me that I am crazy to put myself through it and are beyond doubtful when I try to explain to them that I actually enjoy it.  I try promote awareness of the surrogacy community for the greater good, but I also just want people to think outside the box a little.

I can only imagine how difficult is must be to place your unconditional trust in a woman to "grow" your baby.  I see it every day, and it still amazes me on a regular basis.  It is my job to make sure that intended parents are provided with the best match possible, but it is always a huge leap of faith.  I have discovered many IPs begin this process have the philosophy to keep their eye on the prize and think about the end result...a baby.  Somewhere along the line, many IPs actually begin to enjoy the process and are able to experience the pregnancy and the joys it brings.

To be able to find the words to make a skeptic understand surrogacy is impossible, but to show them would be easy.  You can see it in the joy on any IP's face when they see their baby's first ultrasound or hear their heartbeat for the very first time.  To be able to share that with someone, to be part of that miracle, is indescribable!

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