Wednesday, November 14, 2012

The Long Road

Often when we begin a surrogacy journey, we are very focused on the goal...a baby.  Everyone involved is very excited and anxious to be successful and create new life (or two) to bring into the world.  There is a lot of planning, coordinating and organizing that goes on for this very complex process.  The average journey takes 12 to 18 months, if there are no complications.  Most matches will experience some bumps along the way.  Wow...such a long time, right?  I have thought a lot about this and and have come to the conclusion that it is a short wait to start the amazing journey of parenthood.  Parenthood is permanent, there is no going back.  Having some time to focus on the initial steps and the patience that the process takes, is really good practice of more to come.  I have been a parent for almost 13 years, and a surrogate for over 5...patience is a very important trait to master.

With each match that is made, patience has come easier to me.  I understand that things will come up and we will work as a team to solve them and move forward.  The biggest challenge about this is that while I may have the experience, the intended parents and their surrogate do not.  It is my job to manage these potential road blocks and keep everything moving as smoothly and quickly as possible.  Some days this is a very easy aspect of my job, other days it is a challenge.  All of the experienced carriers that I work with have a favorite saying.  "Surrogacy is a hurry up and wait process."  A very simple saying, but it holds a lot of truth.  Ironically I find myself often encouraging baby steps.

I am a very optimistic person and I think it is very important to be a cheerleader for those I work with.  I know that there is a chance that we will run into obstacles, have a failed cycle, or other issues.  I am not going to focus on those because I believe is positive thoughts.  It does not mean that I am overlooking the negative possibilities, but I choose not to focus on them.  Many of the intended parents I work with have had a lot of negative things happen on their journey to parenthood, and it is my mission to help them have a positive experience.  We will cross each bridge together and take baby steps until we have reached our goal.

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